Pimples, Mood swings, Cravings, Gas, Cramps, Blood

When I feel I can’t express my feelings knowing that the world, or at least everyone I know in it, can see.. When 140 characters just doesn’t cut it.. I come to Tumblr 

The first rough patch of Year Two has arrived. I have no academic tests this week -only those of mental strength. I will come face to face with my GPA tomorrow as I meet with two separate professors to possibly perform research in one of their labs. Or rather, someone other than myself with come face to face with my GPA. The idea of being judged by a number that reflects two semesters of youthful ignorance, disorganization, laziness (the list goes on) is terrifying.

I imagined a conversation with my eldest sister
Me- “I don’t know what they’ll think of me”
Sam- “You may have already judged yourself and decided that you don’t deserve a position in their lab, but they have not. Allow them the opportunity to evaluate your worth. Wow them with your ambition and personality tomorrow. Don’t downplay your academic failure last year, stress your enlightened mindset. Let them know that you were a freshman and that you’re now a sophomore who is focused and determined.”
Me- “Okay, but I’m still not going to get it..” 
Sam- “COOL BYE”
JkSheDidntSayThatInMyMind

I realize that a number does define me, and I just have to live with that 
but it really sucks.

And I wish I had someone with me to talk to about it. Of course there’s that period between A and B when I eat lunch with XYZ, but I’m talking about NOW at 1:39 AM when all of my friends are back at their apartments preparing for their 8 AMs or getting ready to sleep. My roommate is nice, but I don’t know her that well yet. Guys are nice, but they ain’t my boyfriends.. and I’m not going to subject them to my late night rants (because I’ll feel like a huge burden IonoWhyDontAsk I just feel uncomfortable taking up people’s time yaknow?)

The lonely walk from the SCC to my dorm on campus was scaaaaaary, noises and shadows galore -not at all what I needed after thinking about my GPA- and I just kept on wishing I had someone to walk with. If someone suggests I call the corps.. I swear.. Seriously? I’m not going to call the corps to walk me around freaking campus because I don’t have a friend to do it with. Quite honestly it’s embarrassing having someone in uniform make small talk with you when it’s OBVIOUS what the situation is… and I could actually do it once, but I would sure as hell not do it twice.

Summary: I’m lonely and anxious and struggling to live with the past 

@lulutekle
Edit: @eri_aggie

apparently my eyes sparkle :)

has my seal of approval

loving the fact that so many people complimented my women for obama sticker that I stuck on my new laptop

i made sure they were registered to vote ;) 

also… i just need to state that… fall 2012 has delivered some delish eye candy.
i definitely pretended to be lost at least once today so i could talk to some guys. and i would do it again. it was so worth it. god. 

classes start tomorrow
bring it  

saw a btho obama shirt again today..

why aggies.. why?

in other news i’m officially settled in to my dorm. i have my new laptop and life is good :)